the singing bus driver

today’s list: things to be excited about this fall, listed in anticipation of the inevitable crushing depressing that drags along on the coattails of winter in the city

2. the Salted Caramel Mocha

…Because the **~PuMpKiN sPiCe LaTTe!!!~~` is way too trendy considering it’s just a flavored coffee drink, and you guys it’s not that good why does it merit so many Facebook statuses?? Have you even tried the salted caramel mocha?  

3. dark nail polish

    I guess this is technically a winter thing and I should be doing rich red-oranges right now, but I just found this amazing Plum at CVS and it’s making me feel pretty in an Olsen Twins, all-coffee-diet, multiple-scarves-at-once kind of way. 

4. feeling less guilty about staying inside 

  summer in DC (and probably everywhere else, but I’m a townie) is, with the exception of a few 104-degree days, pretty delicious. there are all kinds of outdoor sports leagues for adults and rooftop parties and boats on the river and if you happen to be someone who works nights and likes to sit in an air-conditioned room playing video games all day it can make you feel kind of like a loser. i work in a bar and when my shift ends at 11, i no longer want to be in a bar. i no longer want to be around people, or music, or alcohol. i want to be partially nude on a couch in a quiet room until i have to be back at the bar again the next day. during the colder months the nightlife slows down here and watching movies at home with unshaven legs becomes socially acceptable. TIS THE SEASON FOR SLOPPY, LAZY LOSERS! 

5. the gorgeous new coat Bart got me for my birthday. 

   i have actually been checking the weather every day, anxiously awaiting any sign of cooler weather on the horizon, planning the perfect hair and shoes to go with this coat. it is a work of art. today might be the day (the low is 55?). 

6. BOOTS

actually deserving of all the Facebook statuses. boots look good on everyone, don’t require pedicures, keep your ankles warm, and the right pair can pull an otherwise sloppy outfit together. 

7. not being sweaty all the time

and, in turn, being able to wear long sleeves without spending my first fifteen minutes at work standing in front of a fan with my arms raised hoping no one sees me. 

today’s list: highlights of my recent life, or why blogs are sooooooo dumb

1. i know i blogged a while back about having emetophobia; part of the phobia i may not have mentioned is that people who have it generally go several years, if not entire lifetimes, without throwing up. until a few weeks ago, i hadn’t thrown up in 8 years. but then rail tequila and PBRs and ethiopian food teamed up to topple my empire. i won’t go into graphic detail, but it was a rough morning and afterward i laughed and cried simultaneously and then curled up into a ball and reflected on my life.

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today’s list: things that are on this list

1. Jumpin’ Jumpin’ - Destiny’s Child
   • this song is pretty bad.
2. recycling
   • if the recycling bin is more than three steps farther away from me than the trash can, fuggedaboutit.
3. my italian professor
   • i make fun of her almost every day and she just takes it. we have such a good thing going on. today i asked her if we could leave after we took our test and she just glared at me so i said, “well, shut my mouth.”

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today’s list: 5 things that really grind my gears

1. wind
   • anyone who knows me fairly well knows that i feel about windy weather the same way most people would feel about being slapped gently in the faced over and over all day. i just can’t accept it. somewhere in the back of my mind i know this is irrational because really wind is no one’s fault, but it just feel so…intentional. plus, i have obscenely long hair and when my hands are full, as they were just now returning from Alice’s with a soy caramel latte in my right and a stack of notebooks in my left, the bloody wind picks up a few stray locks, crosses them over one another and then flings them into my face. i try to imagine that i’ve got the model-doing-a-photoshoot-on-a-sailboat look going on, but i probably just look flustered.
2. educated people using “less” where they should be using “fewer.”
   • kind of speaks for itself, but let me just lay this one out for the unsure english speaker: we use “less” when referring to a smaller amount of a grammatically singular thing, like water or happiness. “fewer” applies to plural nouns, like children or pairs of underwear. SO not difficult.
3. consistently negative people
   • hypocritical, i know, since i’m currently writing a post on shit that pisses me off, but let me explain. i have known too many people (approximately 3, but that is too many) who only know how to be unhappy. i know maybe it’s not their fault and they’d change it if they could, but i can’t help but think that a big part of the reason i’m generally happy is that i make a conscious choice to approach things with positive energy. i knew a girl a few years ago who was charismatic, smart, and funny, but her entire personality was based on complaining. every story she told was about someone who had done her wrong or some majorly detrimental mistake she’d made. it made it so that despite her charm and intelligence, she was utterly awful to be around.
4. unnecessary attitude
   • listen, Pearlstone lady. i know that conceptually, egg salad is gross. but the fact is, it’s packed with protein and goes delightfully well with a sun-dried tomato wrap and potato chips. furthermore, you don’t have to eat it, or even touch it directly. please don’t sneer at my lunch while you’re making it. you’re hurting its feelings.
5. public scratching
   • i’m not exactly an old-world etiquette fanatic (see: me swearing loudly, wearing slutty outfits three or four nights a week, and burping at the table) but something about fingernails on skin just grosses me out. particularly head-scratching. the sound makes my skin crawl. last spring i sat behind a kid in my Personality Theory class who not only scratched his head every few minutes, but also picked at his acne AND backne. BUH-ARF!

today’s list: things i miss about goucher when i’m home

1. the quad on a nice day
   • i’m pretty sure this applies to all small liberal arts schools, but nevertheless i appreciate it. the picnic tables overflow with scruffy, smiley, peaceful kids with guitars. people are playing volleyball and lying in the sun drinking smoothies from alice’s and smoking their hookahs. it’s like a brochure, except less ethnically diverse.

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today’s list: things i miss most when i’m not here*

1. scout + charlie
   • i know it’s, like, super lame to talk about how much you love your dogs; in fact i think dog people come in at a close second to horse people (shudder), but my dogs are seriously the coolest.

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today’s list: people with whom i would very much like to spend a day

update: i just enabled comments using Disqus…exciting!

1. rodrigo santoro
   • if you’ve seen either Love Actually or Post Grad, you understand. it should be a criminal offense to be this sexy. even if he threw up all over it me it would still be the best day of my life.
2. andre 3000
   • this obsession dates back to the release of Stankonia when i was 11. dude just does his own thing all the time no matter what the hip-hop scene looks like and it works so well. throw jazz and funk onto an album that becomes the top selling rap album of all time? sure! voice the main character in a cartoon network show? don’t mind if i do! release a clothing line based on 1930’s college football? why not! go by like ten different nicknames like Possum Aloysius Jenkins and Dookie Blossomgame? you got it, dude! oh yeah, and he’s, like, really good at rapping.
     

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